So, this is my first time writing and I have to admit I am nervous as I’m typing this first line. Here goes nothin! I would like to formally invite you to come along on a journey with me. A journey in finding encouragement through the word of God, in finding balance in a chaotic world, and in making your wellness a priority.
I suppose I should start with why I decided to start a blog in the first place. I’ve never really had much direction in life and I’ve never firmly known what kind of career I’d like to have. I’ve also not felt talented at any one specific thing, which makes it hard when you are trying to decided what do with your life. I’ve had more jobs than I can remember, pursued school but had to leave because I was broke, and found myself right back in a job I mildly enjoy.
Boo hoo, right? Awe poor Kelcie can’t make up her mind, get a grip. I don’t mean to sound pathetic, it’s just the truth. I won’t bore you with the details of how dysfunctional my family was for a time and how that may or may not play a role in why I felt so lost. We’ll get to that… eventually. Hind sight, all of my early 20’s was necessary so that I could meet my husband and find my way back to my faith.
Ruben has no idea what I’m about to share and as nerve wrecking as it is to open my heart to you all, I am equally as nervous for him to read this. I don’t think that my husband fully knows why when I say “I love you more” I truly mean it. See, Ruben played a key role in helping me rediscover my identity in Jesus Christ.
Unbeknownst to him, when we met I was in a rough place in life. I was 25, working for a family friend during the day, bartending here and there for extra cash, living with my mom… AGAIN, going on one failed date after the next, all the while feeling like a complete failure. What did I have to offer anyone? I was half way through my 20’s with absolutely nothing to show for myself.
So much had happened in my life that I had turned my back on my faith. Man after man had let me down, including the man who raised me. My parents divorce had damaged me in such a way that I felt beyond repair and beyond love. As happy and strong as I appeared, I was weak, discouraged, and self loathing. I had made so many mistakes, who would possibly want me now? I had forgotten who I was created to be and the woman I wanted to be. Then I met Ruben.
He was so kind, intelligent , funny, and oh my gosh his smile! I’ll let you in on our dirty little secret, we met on a dating app. I know what you’re thinking, “Kelcie, how desperate were you?” the answer, VERY. After my 4 year relationship ended, the dating game had changed. No one met each other organically anymore and I had zero desire to meet anyone in my immediate area. I wanted meet someone outside of the place that was seeming to destroy my life and integrity one day at a time.
Ruben and I began to get to know each other and over the course of a few weeks I had become completely smitten with him. We could talk about anything for hours, he was so open about his faith, and so focused on his future. Listening to him talk about his dreams and ambitions was inspiring. He didn’t care that I lived at home, he didn’t care I had an old beat up car, and he didn’t care that I hadn’t gone to school or started a career. He encouraged me in the areas that I had interests, he showed compassion for the things I had been through, and he never let me forget how valuable I was to our Heavenly Father.
Who was this guy?? How was he so absolutely perfect? Where had he been hiding my whole life? The answer?… He was on his Mission. While I was busy slowing destroying my life one party at a time, Ruben was in Mexico teaching the Gospel.
My whole childhood I prayed for a Godly husband. We were raised in church and taught all the wholesome things church teaches. I went on a missions trip at 16 and came home determined to become a missionary myself. I was very involved in church, in fact my life revolved around it up until I was 18. My parents divorce would later change all of that. But little did I know that in the midst of my rebellion, God was still preparing my husband and answering the prayers from my childhood.
As Ruben and I would continue to get to know each other, I found my life slowly changing. Before Ruben most of my life revolved around alcohol and who was down to party. All I ever wanted to do was forget about my life and live in drunken bliss for a few hours. But now I was waking up earlier, being productive, looking for a stable job, weeding out people in my life that were a bad influence, and I had opened my bible for the first time in over a year .
Ruben never pressured me to go to church or to read my scriptures, and he never told me what I should or should not be doing. Ruben simply being himself, made me realize all of the things that I had forgotten. So when he would later go on to break up with me, best believe I was devastated. Didn’t see that coming, did ya? Yes, Ruben and I were apart for a time. As I said before, hind sight is always 20/20. We would need that time to evaluate our situations and find each other again.
After 2 months and more phone calls, I moved to Utah to be with him and the rest is history. We are now happily married and I am living the life that I had always prayed for, with the person I had always prayed.
I write all of this to say that God does answer our prayers and is working behind the veil, even when we are losing our way. Ruben through his genuine love of the Gospel inspired me to pick up my old hobbies, treat my body better, and find my strengths. I am so grateful for his unwavering faith because it brought me back to mine.
Now listen, I am not saying you need a MAN to unlock your talents and help you love yourself. A mere man does not have that power. I’m saying that if you were like me, a good girl who had lost her way, your Heavenly Father has that power. Through prayer and reading my scriptures, I rediscovered the love I had forgotten and I learned to value myself again.
I believe that God lead me to Ruben so that I could find myself again. I also believe that Ruben crossed my path so that I could become the woman he would later need in a wife. I absolutely believe the time that we spent apart was to test my faith and sustain what I had learned. And lastly I believe that everything I have been through was to strengthen my testimony in the Gospel and help other women discover their value again.
I am still not sure what kind of career I want or if I’ll ever find a career of significance. I have a lot of things that interest me and who knows, maybe one of my hobbies will unfold into something magical.
Alllll of this to say that, this blog will be many things. I will share with you my recipes, fitness tips, my thoughts, my struggles, my diy projects, my continuous journey in becoming a woman rooted in faith, and so much more. If you are reading this and feeling lost or discouraged with your life, there is HOPE. Our Heavenly Father wants all of our dreams to come true, I know this to be true because mine are coming true one day at a time.
Thank you for taking the time to read my words and stick around to see what Ruben and I get into, as we strive to live our lives pleasing to the Lord.